....a year later

A year has passed since I made a declaration to be more social. And like many resolutions, I was not very dedicated to this one. While I did not commit to being more social, I did learn a few things about myself

1. I am a serious introvert.

2. I am outgoing

3. Most people don't get me.


How on earth can someone be outgoing and an introvert? Aren't those things polar opposites? Well, no, they aren't. I pick and choose when I am around people very carefully because it is draining. When I am around others, I do enjoy myself. I get really silly, I dance crazily and sing off key, and this is me sober. I'm not in the least bit shy. But social settings are TIRING! Most days, I would much prefer the comfort of my rocking recliner, a blanket and my knitting needles. THAT is what makes me an introvert.

This year has really helped me realize why my friend count on FB is so high, but the contacts in my phone is so low. A lot of people invite me to hang out, but most of the time I just don't feel like putting forth the energy.


Am I just making excuses for myself? Maybe. But knowing myself has helped me figure out what I need to do differently.

Here's to hoping this year is better than the last.


For those of you who are still confused about what it means to be an introvert, please check out this nice post from Buzzfeed: http://www.buzzfeed.com/video/sararubin/change-the-way-you-look-at-introverts

You and Shmo are now friends

This week/weekend I have really been working on my social skills. The first setting was a Valentine's day event full of artistic expressions of God's love. It was absolutely phenomenal. The individuals that participated on the program were so amazing, and talking to a few of them afterward was so nice to talk to some peers that also love God and are unashamed of expressing that. I talked with three people I didn't know before, and I have graduated to fb friends with all of them (baby steps). I was really nervous as soon as the show was over and people started mingling. I knew quite a few people there, so I started off saying hi to the ones I already knew. I could feel myself getting anxious as I approached the last person in the room that I am already friends with. They were talking to one of the performers, so I figured if nothing else, I could talk about their piece.

It was a very smooth take off and landing from the moment I reached out my hand and said "wow, you're poem was awesome!" I was genuinely amazed by their poem, so the words slid out my mouth naturally, and it was, surprisingly, not awkward.

There seems to be hope for me after all.